I Hate Webinars – Confession of a Wife

Have you developed an allergy to all the webinars and on-line projects? Well, I have it ten times worse! Imagine, six o’clock in the evening and after a day at work I am coming home driven on by the vision of my beloved husband and son, looking forward to getting home to the bosom of my family – or more precisely in front of a cooker and starting the dinner.

At the door I get scratched by our dog. This is the way our bitch welcomes us. The cat meows loudly announcing to me that she hasn’t seen today’s ration of food. My son hurls himself at me to show me the wonders he created at nursery school. I am looking around for my husband in vain. I head straight for the living room, where I know I’ll definitely find him. Yes, he is there. The face with a blue refection from the PC, he looks a bit like a spaceman or an i-man, not very human-like.

He is squinting at me, having difficulties focusing. Finally, he pinpoints me and as if waking up from a long sleep, he is happy to see me. “Hi! Home already? That’s great. I’ve just lent Šimon the i-pad, because I had to finish off something. I am getting ready for that evening webinar, see?”

 He annoys me a bit …

 “Have you got a webinar today, too? I haven’t seen anything in the scheduler ….”, browsing through the schedulers in the telephone. Another webinar?

 “Sorry, it was thought up at the last minute. It will give me a big boost, you know. Would you mind if I broadcast from home later today?”

Of course, I would mind!

Jirka knows only too well just how much I do mind. We have spoken about it recently. I was telling him how unpleasant I feel with all those thousands of virtual people waltzing through our living room. I am used to choosing the people around me myself and only some of them will be invited to my home. And then …. keeping our pets which can open doors quiet and my son …

The vision of a peaceful evening is fast disappearing.

“Shall we have dinner together?”, for tonight I have just given up, I don’t feel like being assertive. I want to be at home in peace.

“Sure, I’ll help you,” boosted by the easy victory Jirka is trying to be helpful. I am astonished.

 “I’ll just finish one email and I am all yours.”

That doesn’t astonish me. One email of my husband’s can last from one to several hours. I go to prepare dinner and I am happy that after caring all day for others I can concentrate on food. I love cooking. I take the electronic gadget away from Šimon. He follows me to the kitchen and builds rockets on the floor …
The dinner’s ready, I am in a bit of a hurry to manage everything, to take the animals out, bath and feed Šimon, clear away the toys, prepare the things for the next day’s nursery school, chase Šimon to bed… before the official broadcast starts. I wanted peace but I got stress.

I am calling Jirka for dinner (in this case one email lasted an hour) and he isn’t in front of the computer!
Šimon finds him in the bathroom. Jirka looks as if he is getting ready for a date … shaving, putting lotion on, getting dressed. “In a while I’ll be broadcasting so please don’t let Šimon, the cat or the dog go there,” he says during the dinner, which he praises. It would interest me whether he would recognise if I had spoiled the meal …

19:30 – Testing the connection

I am sitting on the bed, reading a fairytale, stroking the dog with one hand and holding the cat with the other. I wonder what my husband is talking about. I sit for a long time in the darkness, listening to Šimon’s regular breathing and the soft sleeping noises of the cat. From the next room I can hear Jirka’s official voice.

HOW MUCH THESE WEBINARS ANNOY ME!

Yours Magdalena Vokáčová