A Lesson from My Childhood

“Who are you? Who am I?” I am exactly five years old; I’m standing in front of the mirror and looking into my own eyes in disbelief. The tilting mirror in my parents’ bathroom is a bit spooky. I’m standing in front of it silently repeating: “I’m me, I’m me, I’m me.” And a painful realisation penetrates my mind – I’m the only one in the world who thinks about this person as being me. All the others – or in other words, they – think about themselves, that they are their own me. “The world is full of Me’s,” I laugh. But I experience a feeling of intense loneliness, a so-far unknown and non-encountered degree of solitude. Who am I really then. Who is me? These thoughts enter my head in the next minute. To my sisters I am a runt, to my mum a big girl, big enough to help, to my dad, that little dolly, for my brother Madenka, … The idea that what “they” think about me does not say much about who I am – crosses my mind and for a while longer I am looking at myself in the mirror as if I saw myself for the first time. I feel solitude and freedom at the same time. I would like to speak about it with somebody, but I’ll keep it to myself. I have had bad experiences in engaging in conversations on similar topics.

I was five then. Considering I am thirty five today, my questions, experiments and experiences have not changed that much. My happiness lies in gradually exposing who I am and I work on it with my clients. I sum up the basics of coaching with three questions: Who am I? Why am I here? Where (in relation to what I want) am I right now?